I don't need a cake

Last Wednesday, I celebrated my 27th birthday. Three years shy from the big 3-0. I didn't celebrate it big tim, actually, I haven't celebrated for the past two years. The day just went by like any other ordinary days. Woke up in the morning and uttered a simple prayer to the Man Above for being ever so faithful to me even thought at times, I doubt his existence. Prepared my kids' things - feeding bottles for the baby and school things for the Kuya.

Woke up J and gave him a bath. Left C with my mom while I accompany J to school. Had breakfast first together with the husband. For practical reasons, I chose to wait for J's dismissal. Off we went to McDonald's as requested by the little boy.

After lunch, spent a few hours with C and put her to sleep. Afterwards, hubby fetch me to watch Eclipse. Had a simple dinner afterwards then went home.

*****

I came to realize that celebration isn't as important as it was to me when I was still younger. Before, it's important for me to treat my officemates, college friends and my family for a dine out. Now, being with my loved ones is far more important to me rather than partying during my special day. But then again, celebrating birthdays also is a realization for me that indeed, I am growing old. Admit it or not, few years from now, I may loose my mom or my dad. Or they may loose me. Morbid it may sound but that's the reality of life.

My 4-year old son didn't greet me a Happy Birthday. His mere reason is the same reason when he didn't greet his father during his birthday. I don't have a cake. Our conversation is as follow:

J: Mom, why don't you have cake on your birthday?
Me: I don't need a cake because I'm already old for that.
J: (starting to cry) I don't want you to grow old.
Me: Why?
J: (crying now) I don't want you to die.

I didn't know what to say then. I simply hug him and told him that in the future we will all die, that made him wail louder. His fear is the same as my fear. He's still too young but was able to grasp the idea of death.

Thank you God for allowing me to spend another birthday with my kids.